Botox looks like a bad idea, period.

With Hot Docs midway in, I have been reminded yet again that nothing in life is ever ‘black or white’, and there are always shades of grey that affect people’s decisions and actions, but there are some instances that I find quite difficult to comprehend, at best. One of these things is botox.

I found myself going to the gym at noon the other day. The difference between going to my gym (see my brief preview in post ‘Saying goodbye to Urban Playground‘) at noon vs. 7am is HUGE. Upon entering there were three women behind the desk, all of which looked like they could have reasonably been part of Kim Kardashian’s posse, and they were all discussing the cons of botox; the biggest one being the fact that it makes drinking from a Starbucks cup nearly impossible. The three women couldn’t have been older than 40, and were, I suspect, naturally good looking women – but it was hard to tell from all of the makeup, processed hair and camera–ready/botox-frozen smiles. I was transfixed and brazenly eavesdropped on their conversation in awe that women like this DO exist, and they aren’t the only ones. Upon entering my ‘body blast’ class I discovered that there were at least 4 women who had been botoxed – and at least three of them clearly had breast implants. Shocking. These women were all fit and good looking – and two of them couldn’t have been 40. Wow. I was dying to ask questions…but contrary to my reputation of being brazen about my opinions and questions, I am not rude. I will ask if there ever comes a time I develop a relationship with one of them. One of them is on the wrong side of 50 and is starting to look like a cat woman, but who by all other accounts seems lovely and quite personable, a trait that I haven’t seen in any of the others (but again, they may be having issues cracking a smile, so I don’t want to judge too harshly).
I will keep going to the gym at 7am, where I get proper boot camp style work outs by George Shaker from Quad. No botox on him – or any of my fellow participants. Just a lot of sweating going on. (the sad truth right now is that this George is celebrating his 40th birthday in Mexico and is part of the reason why I have been having to try alternative work out slots).

This experience brought Pink’s awesome video, and upbeat pop song ‘Stupid Girls’ to mind:

When I am truly an old lady, I will likely be wearing a pink velour tracksuit, as I have been doing in various forms long before Juicy Couture arrived on the scene – but that is where the glamour will end. 😉

Saying Goodbye to UrbanPlayground Fitness

This week was a sad week for the women patrons of Urban Playground Fitness. In my humble opinion, it is (soon to be was) the best woman’s gym in downtown Toronto. Mimi and Lindsy are closing up shop and moving on after 3 years, transferring the space to someone else who will be opening up another gym. As a gym, it was what you need: great instructors with positive energy, small work out classes with personalized options for differing fitness levels, women friendly weights and kettle bells, bright clean atmosphere and music played as a background to the work outs (not the deafening- boom base noise that finally drove me out of the affordable Goodlife chain). But what made Urban Playground ‘the best little gym ever!’ was the lively group of women that worked out together and made working out a pleasure – even on those days when it was cold and snowy/rainy and every fibre of your soul was telling you to bail on the work out and stay in with a glass of wine – you picked up your sorry ass off the couch and went knowing that when you entered the building, you would be greeted by several happy hellos and then the work out just happened much the way recess ‘happened’ to us in grade school…and you had fun and burned energy before going back to the week day’s demands. It was truly a great family and support group.

Well, needless to say, while the women of UPG will miss Mimi and Lindsy, it was panic, ‘cause let’s face it, the sweating must go on! But where?!? (at least until the new tenant opens, but they are doing ‘renovations’, and we all know what THAT means – it means that despite their opening day goal of May 1st, it will likely be Oct 1st…), so a few of us have identified a few smaller/specialized gyms (not among the Goodlife/Extreme behemoth crowd) in the downtown core that various members will try. I will add updates as feedback comes in…

http://www.wynnfitness.com/ This gym is located on The Esplanade, east of St. Lawrence Market and currently has a crazy good deal on Groupon (but their monthly rate is only $45 so even more affordable than Goodlife!). Nancy checked this one out and got a great tour and reported in that they have a nice mix of class options including spin, yoga, bootcamp, kickboxing etc… They also have machines and a big room that can be used however you want (Nancy recently became a certified personal trainer so we are kind of hoping that she starts by practising on us!) Nudge nudge…

http://www.flirtygirlfitnesslive.com/ Located on Wellington St, just west of Spadina, this gimmicky extravaganza for women is all about bringing sex to your work out. Famous for their pole dancing, they have quite the dizzying range of ‘come hither’ work outs, including one called ’50 Shades of Sexy…and they have videos of their classes – and all I can say is “I’m afraid. I’m excited and I can’t wait to get on a pole!” (pun TOTALLY intended, but I will get to the ‘sad-yet-very-happy’ state of affairs that is my love life later)…Ali (me) has a 6 month membership she scored at a charity silent auction, and while she has trepidations about liking it, she totally loves the fact that there are disco balls in the work out rooms – and enough pink to drown out a sea of flamingos! Price is in line with UPG ($130 – $160, but they just changed their website so it has become a little unclear – pricing listed is based on what I saw last week).

http://dccentre.ca/ Located on Yonge, at Isabella. Warning: be prepared to be greeted with rock hard FIT bodies on the landing page of Dynamic Conditioning Centre. They offer various services, such as nutrition and various forms of therapy. For $130 unlimited monthly classes, it is comparable to UPG, and they too seem to specialize in boot camps, if a little more ‘MANly-like’ – and that includes some of the physiques of the crazy buff women in a couple of pics. Looks a bit hard core, but it is a co-ed gym, so could be a great place for those single ladies among the UPG crowd (like me!).  Maybe my work outs at Flirty Girl will ‘translate’ well at DCC…wacka wacka Thanks to Blanche in advance for sourcing this one.

*I should note that one of my strict dating rules is TO NEVER GO OUT WITH A GUY AT MY GYM on the grounds that I like to go to the gym to de-stress, not feel awkward (in those instances where the night before should never have happened…or whatever…At the end of the day, I’ve never liked any of the guys that have asked me out at the gym, so my ‘strict ethical dating code’ in this regard has yet to be tested’…

http://bodypumpinc.com/home Located on Nicholas St near Yonge/Wellesley. This is another one from Blanche (extra kudos to her for losing 7 lbs last month!). So this gym looks nice, cheerful, lots of services including massage, a wide variety of classes including yoga, bootcamp and ketllebell. They also seem to have a community and blog – so all very promising for a boutique gym. BUT, big peeve here, there is no pricing of any sort on website so you are forced to email or phone. I left a vm at 3pm this afternoon and haven’t heard back (it is now midnight)… I HATE it when gyms won’t just tell you what they cost (it reminds me of the sleazy tactics and run-arounds that Goodlife and Extreme use)…having said that, if they are reasonable, definitely worth checking out.

Anyhoo, we have another week at Urban Playground with kick ass work outs by Mimi and Lindsy before we disperse in the wind…. But the bitches will be back! Here is to a new fitness adventure and trying new things…and here’s to a great group of women.